Introduction

The East End of London receives a bad press. People complain that it has become too gentrified; that poor salt-of-the-earth families have been forced out into anonymous suburbs; that there are overpriced gastropubs on every corner; that the true "character" of the area has been eroded by a fickle, ironic art scene. But don't let any of this adverse publicity bias your opinion of the area. The East End is alive and kicking; it's a shining example of "community" with all the amenities, features and historical interest to match. If you've got some extra holiday to take from work, why not spend a few days in the area? Even better, move here.

A PR crusade by one man isn't enough in itself to root out these deep-seated prejudices. But it's a start. So hold my sweaty, wart-ridden hand and let me show you why you should "Come To The East End".

Accommodation

There are plenty of charming places to stay in the area (the Konur-Alp Hotel and the Inner London Hotel to name just two). Don't let the fact that they are full of DSS crackheads put you off.

Alternatively, if you're looking to relocate, there are many well-appointed estates to choose from. Globetown is one of the most desirable. So desirable, in fact, that Matt Lucas and David Walliams used it for filming sketches about a short-sighted, small-brained cripple and his lisping carer.

You may not like being tied down to one area. You may be one of life's "wanderers". No problem. The East End caters for everyone.

Entertainment

You're spoilt for choice when it comes to pubs. As Samuel Johnson famously said: "If you like fighting, shitty carpets, dogs on ropes and old men with yellow teeth, there are no finer inns than in the East of London". And each one has its own unique "feel" and sense of community:

• If you're in Hackney, you could try the grand and distinguished New Lansdowne Club.


• You could take the bus up the road to Clapton and visit Chimes where you can ask the friendly locals (called "Yardies") all about the history of "Murder Mile".


• Or you could compare sovereign rings and "my gran's neighbour's cousin's half sister was Reggie Kray's second cousin" stories with the folk in Th Dle Gun on Roman Road.


• Fancy something a bit more exotic? You could take a trip to the Globetown favourite, Habanas Bar, for a spot of "KAROKE".


• And what if you've got the kids in tow? Just take them to the Dover Castle in Cambridge Heath, a true family pub.

Idiotic licensing laws in this country mean that often, just as you're getting into the swing of things, the landlord rings the bell and calls last orders. That needn't be a problem in the East End, though - you can drink and dance into the early hours in a number of places:

• Situated in Hackney Wick, Geneva's keeps rocking until dawn, fuelled by the rhythm of the neighbouring A12 bypass. And if you need a break from the dancefloor, why not pop up the road and treat yourself to a handgun?


• If you enjoy "toking on a couple of rocks" before you let your hair down, then you could try the Palace Pavilion. They also have singing and dancing competitions.


• Personally, I like clubs that aren't afraid to put up curtains. If you're the same, then you'll enjoy a trip to Hackney's Social Pamukkale Club.


• Some people prefer a more relaxed approach to after-hours entertainment. To wind down after a night of heavy drinking, you might care to pop along to one of the East End's many snooker clubs for a casual knife fight.

But despite the range of entertainment available to you in the East End, you can't escape the fact that the best nights are often those that you spend indoors. If you feel like this, then why not grab a takeaway and a video and put your feet up?

Culture

Culturally and artistically speaking, East London is probably the richest area of the capital. Art projects, whether sponsored by council initiatives or undertaken by artists at the vanguard of "Cool", are everywhere.

For example, the area around Bethnal Green tube station used to be a dirty, unattractive, litter-filled eyesore. Fortunately, Hackney Council teamed up with a bold young designer to rectify the situation. The result was impressive.

Sculpture is also becoming very popular in the area. A humdrum street corner in Hackney Downs was recently transformed by the installation of this "Arte Povera" piece. The residents haven't looked back.

Perhaps the most exciting hotbed of artistic expression is the unlikely estate behind the railway line at Cambridge Heath. When you walk up and down the streets you can just feel the buzz of creativity as graffiti artists cheerfully share space and ideas with industrial and constructivist sculptors.

But East London is as much about commemorating the past as celebrating the present. A recent lottery-funded scheme has seen the introduction of the East End equivalent of the "Blue Plaque". The so-called "Yellow Plaques" mark events of significance in East London's recent history. And they're cropping up all over the place.

Recreation

• You can play football or take part in athletics at the Mile End Stadium. The restaurant also happens to be very good.


• Keen football fans may also care to head down to Hackney Marsh for the world famous Sunday League fixtures, where some of today's most mediocre criminals made their footballing debuts.


• You can follow in the footsteps of many religious pilgrims and spend some time meditating in the serene gardens of Hackney Church, where men with bulbous red noses and mouldy shoes will happily discuss their methylated hallucinations with you.


• You can take a boat trip on the lesser known Eastern stretch of the Regent's Canal. The slow, romantic cruise starts at Corbridge Crescent jetty and finishes at the Litter Garden near the Isle of Dogs. And if you're lucky, you'll get to see the East London equivalent of the Changing of the Guard, in which "British Bobbies" dress in special frogman outfits and dive beneath the surface of the canal looking for "drug-deal-turned-sour" heads and limbs.


• Walkers may care to take a hike along The Greenway, the regenerated and countrified strip of land that hugs the Northern Outfall Sewer all the way to the Thames. Starting near Hackney Wick, this pleasurable ramble will take you past many fascinating sights: rubble pits, breaker's yards and motorcycle funeral pyres.


• For those who prefer a more sedentary approach to outdoor life, there are few nicer places to have a summer picnic than Mile End Park. Rather than take your own blanket, you can sit on a car wheel and lay out your meal on a diseased plastic rubbish sack.


• And wildlife buffs needn't feel left out. The Stepney Nature Garden has the largest collection of cigarette packets, empty solvent cans and discarded murder weapons in the country. Or for something a bit more organic, there are many "impromptu farms" to visit all the way up the Lea Valley. Alternatively, for a glimpse of amphibious pigeons and plastic carrier bags in their natural habitat, jump on the number 38 bus to Clapton Pond.

Amenities

If you're planning to take the plunge and actually move to the East End, then all your daily needs are catered for.

For example, the first thing families often worry about when relocating is the quality of education in the area. There are no such worries in Hackney where the visibly high standards, even at nursery level, can leave parents in no doubt that the future of their children is in safe hands.

As far as shopping is concerned, nothing you need is more than a quick bus ride away. And undoubtedly the best place to pick up a bargain is at one of the East End's many famous markets. If you want to buy a stolen bike, some old travel brochures or a single shoe (rather than a pair), then Vallance Road is the place to go. Or if you're keen on tightening the purse strings and refuse to spend more than one pound on any single item, then there are plenty of shopping options in Watney Market.

In general, the range of services available to residents is huge, and this whistlestop tour of the East End is no place to list them all. But it's worth mentioning the historic relationship that Hackney has with the motor car. If you want to get your car un-repaired for "a monkey plus a pony" or if you fancy being raped in a crash-weary minicab to the sound of Magic FM, then Hackney is the place.

Summary

I hope I've given you a flavour of the rich diversity East London has to offer. More than that, I hope I've persuaded you to "Come To The East End". It will probably take years for people to abandon their deep-rooted bigotry about the area. But even if this article converts just one sceptic, then I'll feel I've achieved something.