Each Photoshopped curiosity you see here is a collector's item in its own way--not because of any merely "artistic" merit, but because each captures in digitized form moments in the ongoing erosion of my sanity and fitness to roam free in civilized society.
Undoubtedly, these images will be used against me in the future. Perhaps they'll be cited by forensic psychiatrists in barring my parole from some institution or other. I gladly risk this eventuality for the chance, by this lurid unveiling, to incite riots of gawking.
Offered to you now are the prodigious excreta of my warped and warping psyche. This, gentlemen and ladies, is the Shite Gallery.
Germanic Nonsense
In the final days of WWII, the Germans were taking heavy casualties on all fronts. The Reich was so desperate for fresh troops that even the despised gays, previously barred from service, were now begged to join the battle to save Hitler's ass. These 1944 recruitment posters tell the story.
Even the most ardent fans of Twilight Zone may have missed these rare nuggets of memorabilia.
An early-concept TZ promo still, with a sodomy motif. Upon seeing it, Rod Serling cornered the artist in a lavatory and nearly de-brained him upon a wash basin.
Production storyboard for the episode "Nightmare At 20,000 Feet". The initial script had cuntish goth-popster Gary Numan lurking on the wing of William Shatner's passenger jet. But network execs deemed Numan excessively creepy, and he was forced into a monster helmet.
This experimental foray of Morrissey's into scatological themes featured reworkings of earlier Morrissey/Smiths singles in a coprophilic vein. It reflected the meanderings of the life-long celibate into an esoteric, if revolting, mode of sexual expression. The CD was banned in all countries except Germany, where it went platinum.
Things Gay
Celebrity wannabe Sean Klitzner, first recipient of Bad Gas's "Gay Medal". He chose to celebrate his success by launching his own website.
Long before Prince Charles won the accolade, Britain's best-loved gay was Quentin Crisp. But increasingly few people can identify the Naked Civil Servant, let alone remember that he once bottled and sold his own breast milk.
Perverts In Greasepaint
In fairness, not all clowns are evil. A few are even revered as religious icons.
Bored with the old juggling/jesting/molesting routine, a Detroit TV clown inflicts his bid for pop stardom on a captive, live audience.
Have you ever noticed that Ronald McDonald always looks fit and trim? I can only assume that he doesn't eat the food that he endorses. Has he, in a sense, "McLynndied" us?
Chick Tracts
Bible tract cartoonist Jack T. Chick has it in for the gays. I envisioned a synergistic pairing--Chick's homophobic cartoonery spliced with lurid gay images from the Griffnut Museum--and sent him these doctored panels for consideration. Suprisingly, he never got back to me.
In April 2005, a salt stain on the wall of a Chicago underpass made news when a bunch of dysbrainiac locals convinced themselves it was a miraculous image of the Virgin Mary. To me, it was more reminiscent of war criminal Pfc. Lynndie England. Who do you see?.
The French have a word, jolie-laide (literally, "pretty-ugly"), to describe a woman whose ugliness is part of her charm. This picture illustrates the concept.
Dick Butkus, a.k.a. Buttjuice, was a famous Chicago football player, then coach, then--inexplicably--host of a fishing show on cable TV. His speech is typical of Chicago blue-collar types. His knowledge of fishing is typical of a mongoloid.
This season, why not grow something plump and meaty in your windowbox? Kids love 'em, as do hobos and squirrels.
Oral sex has evolved over the years. Originally, lovers would simply blow on each other's privates, hence the term "blowjob". Around the time this postcard appeared, a kind of "erotic chomping" of the genitals was in vogue.
If you want to complain about the bad taste of any of my images, do get in touch.
